Desperate Husbands

Women are unpredictable. Before marriage she expects a man, after marriage she suspects him, and after death she respects him

Friend: What's the matter, you look depressed?

Husband: I'm having trouble with my wife


Friend: What happened?

Husband: She said she wasn't going to speak to me for 30 days

Friend: But that ough to make you happy


Husband: It did but today is the last day :(

Darling" whispered a frail husband from his bed.

Husband: I'm very sick would you please call a vet?

Wife: A vet? Why do you want a vet and not a medical doctor?

Husband: Because I work like a horse, live like a dog and have to sleep with a silly cow

A man inserted an ad in the classified ads that reads "WIFE WANTED"

The next day, he received thousands of letters. They all said the same thing "YOU CAN HAVE MINE"

A man received a letter from a kidnappers. The letter said "If you don't promise to send us 2 million we promise we will kidnap your wife.

The man wrote back, "I'm afraid that I can't keep my promise but I hope you will keep yours".

Husband and Wife fighting:

Husband: Punong puno na ako sa yo!!! di ko na kaya maghiwalay na tayo

Wife: Sige maghiwalay na tayong dalawa at magseperate na tayo ng properties natin!!

Husband: Ok akin yung lupa sa Las Pinas at iyo yung  lupa sa Quezon city. Akin tong tv, ref at dvd.

Lumabas ang mga anak ng magasawa

Husband: Sa mga anak naman natin sa akin yung panganay sa yo ang bunso


Wife: Hoy hoy hoy!! parehong di sa yo yan!!

Husband dying at the hospital


Husband: Ngayon mamatay na ako ay nasa tabi mo pa rin ako

Wife: Yes my dear

Husband: Noong nalugi negosyo ko andiyan ka pa rin sa tabi ko

Wife: Yes my dear.

Husband: Siguro ikaw ang malas sa buhay ko!!! kaya ako nagkaganito