Depressed

Last Saturday was the day from hell. Sort of I went to work with puffy eyes

I spoked to my my supervisor and I  spent the rest of the conversation defending myself and the choices I've made in my job. I often say I have no regrets, but I suppose in  the end I do.  I never thought I'd say these words, but I am so tired of having to explain myself and I am so tired of being told.

 I'm trying to stay positive, but I feel like crying all day.

I felt very empty going out of my office and  I suddenly missed my friends terribly.

Now, Everything was getting to me. I'm getting ready for the depression, I'll feel when its finally over, but I really didn't feel emotional  anymore when I got home. It was like it had already ended for me.

But I know I'm gonna feel something later, l just don't know when that's gonna be.

Right now, there are no words to describe the weariness I feel today. I have not slept well in days, and even when I do, there is no comfort

What is happening to me?

Inside my head there is never silence. I feel at any moment that I could break. I want to cry for all the sadness in the world, but mostly my own.


I know this depression will past and I'll get by


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 I'm going down a gentle slope with an empty suitcase.

When I look back, I see a shiny red roof in the distance.

I'm leaving this house on the hill today.

I've always done it like this

and I will continue to do so.

I look my best on windy mornings.

I'm sure I can catch a good head wind.

I gain everything

and I lose everything.

Everything is slipping through my fingers,

but my heart is still standing here,

and once again, I will start walking.

I gain everything

and I lose everything.

When I'm left with a blank page,

the fire of hope in my heart is always bright.

Why? Raising a tough question, the day an important dream had been broken.

I saw a scene never seen over the wall.

I was never conceited.

Birds sleep now, resting their wings

to travel tomorrow morning. Lightly flying by they're so far away

Even people again

can be happy.

People told me goodbye now.

The new town, I think

surely, believe myself to meet again.

Remembering how now, whether it is or was not right,

walking under the sun, waving.