One Night Stands

 I attempt my first one-night stand by using social media. And of course I practice safe sex

I can't seem  to get over the awkward sex with someone for the first time. I have to admit that, I had a bunch of one night stands in the past.

I never really get past that, even though I want to. I get really paranoid about what I did and I just try to find the first opportunity to get out there. I hate that awkward silence after sex. I don't really know what to say. After that I get ashamed to talk to the again

If there is one thing, I learned you should  put aside your personal feelings with a studied yet cool sense of detachment and  just have fun and not take this silly thing too seriously.

Because it really hurts when you  take everything too seriously. I mean you  would wait with a deep breath for a response from  that person  and if it didn't come  or  didn't get any reply.  Then, I would wonder what was wrong with me.? Was it something I said or didn't say? Am I not attractive enough?

We would either meet and have sex and I'd never see each other again or we'd casually text until one or both of us lost interest.

I realize something that  I don’t enjoy it anymore.

I always have had the sense that when I’m involved with someone, I become a better person. I know I need to be in a relationship.

Random anonymous sex leaves me feeling lonelier than before.

 There is also a  difference between accepting the sexual aspect of a relationship versus basing the relationship solely on the desire to have sex.

I decided to delete  my  social media accounts on purpose. I have many reasons